Where've you been?

Hello Blog that i use to aimlessly bitch and moan about my life, i have news to report. Ive been doing stuff. Been a fairly quiet few months works been due so ive been having to concentrate and i took an job opportunity that takes up some time as well so i hardly have time to do nothing. I'm planning some drastic changes over the next few weeks all in preparation for what promises to be a colorful summer. I plan to live this next year of my life as if its my last and be even werider and offer more exuberanace in return for happiness. I realized that im actually quite scared of life and the only thing that reassures me is having someone. I have this ridiculous theory that watching other people live there lifes is 'safer' and if i want a cheap thrill now and again ill just read a comic book. I just cant seem to take grasp of the fact that people have the ability to do whatever they see fit weather it be judgement or prejudice, just where is the solace in that.

So i cower and try to separate myself from those people who abuse that power to no avail. Clearly not a successful way of living life and if i dont find something sturdy to ground myself upon i dont think ill snap out my neurotic ways.

Yeah so as i said ive been doing stuff, just got home a couple of days ago and ive been busy with preparation for my europe trip. I really am counting on this trip being a major get-away from myself, which realistically is impossible but spiritually (how lame is this) i feel could be achieved, given the right surroundings. The whole experience of traveling the globe seems so liberating to me, because really this is all we should be doing as people is just living on the earth with other people, forget all the other complexities its as simple as. I'll be documenting

my experiences on a blog similar to this, im sure it'll be a bi-polar opposite to this one.

http://europetravels09.blogspot.com/

Dear Mr Blog.... i have a secret, im 20. Does this fact scare me, yes. Do i know why, no. Maybe it's because im sorta where i want to be in life but it doesn't feel as good as i imagined. Or because i dont want to face to inevitability of having to become a proper adult and i just feel as if a new lease of childhood has been unraveled. What ever the reason it just feels like a landmark age, be it the events of the year or simple the changing first figure, i cant help but feel this one is different and for the first time ever i've wanted to be like;

'yeah im having a birthday today, offer some sort of congratulations'

and thats is as far from my usual behavior as possible. Im looking upon it as a positive.

So yet again ive babbled on about my inner feelings and given useless information to an outsider but internally it feels like a weight was released (a small one though, maybe only like 1lb or so).

I tell you what i have now that i cant ever seem to abandon, pretty awesome friends, so thats where im going now, to a friendly place.

Tata x