Im Back

So i've been back in wycombe for like nearly two weeks now and just feel settled. I've naturually slid back into my uni mind set; avoiding all important tasks, assuming no domestic responsibility, sleeping in till 3pm & you know some days just not leaving the house. I'm totally ready for work and uni to start properly. Theres only so much of doing nothing i can take before i decide that i might as well just lay in bed all day and become a lost cause. I do crave structure at times and love having things to get up for its just id rather start my day and 1pm and end it at 5am. In these last few weeks ive just been getting as much work as possible. Im so totally psyched to start engineering. I will literally kill to be at the venue doing anything remotely related to sound, partly now because im skint, but mostly because i love what i do. Holding of my consumerism any longer is end end up in tears aswell. there so much junk i want. I WANT A BIKE NOW. God i want a bike, since europe ive been obsessed with the idea. i defiantly think this is the one for me>>>>

Last night i kinda had some crazy depressive relapse. After hiding from pre Oct '08 for so long i thought re-visitng those thoughts and memories would be safe. WRONG. Over the last week i experienced the live i was fond of in my youth, but this time it didnt feel right. a few months ago i was convinced i had no choice but to 'man up' and be alone. Now i think i want a life of single solitude. Less complications and i dont want to tamper with the one thing that was perfect and try and repeat it. that never been my style. I really do want to re-visit 06-08 again now, i just hope i haven't burnt that bridge for good.

In other news ive become addicted preppy American sitcoms. Call it what you will but One tree hill does have a certain healing power.

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